LBI

Jumping in the waves, pants be damned!

Happy to be reporting from the first vacation the Mr. has ever planned. In ten years. It's really something.

We are enjoying a lovely house in North Beach on Long Beach Island, steps from the beach and the bay. There's a park with playgrounds and tennis courts around the corner that I can't wait to hit up!!! I am grooming P to love tennis in hopes that she'll want to be our ball girl while we play. 

The beach up here has been replenished since Sandy, which means sand has been pumped ashore from the ocean floor. The beach is huge, with a big hill of sand that you have to walk over before you can see the waves breaking. At this time of year it has a post apocalyptic feel. But there are tons of shells, the water's warm, and no one's around. It's a life-maker.

We found a great restaurant that just opened in June called Arlington. From the looks of the sign I knew exactly what it would be -- new American/farm to table. We did a U-y and were psyched to end up at a place that had good drink, food, decor. In a beach town there are usually so many bad restaurants to avoid. Smelly carpets, bad seafood. It took the vacation to another level to find great food.

Big sky beach.

Postcards Of Brussels

A beautiful, safe, clean, European city. A fine time and I hope to go back -- and have more time to shop, since all the stores close at 6:30 (proof of a less capitalist society). The best part of the trip was that we did good work and met some great people!

Belgium

Landed in Brussels early this morning, took a short nap, got some brunch, shopped, then headed off to Antwerp for impromptu dinner with the client big cheese. He had us up to his penthouse apartment high above the big shopping street and cooked us dinner. Really nice to feel home while away. 

Not your average everyday experience and I'm glad to have it after my recent weeks. Love being around all the different languages (Flemish, German, French) and has me wanting to go after Spamish again and maybe even some French pronunciation. 

10 Things

Last week I learned on Facebook that the boy that was my freshman year of college passed away, "suddenly and unexpectedly," to quote his obituary. We drifted apart in college and I haven't talked to him since we graduated, more or less, which was ten years ago. Though I probably would have never talked to him again -- I even hid his profile from my Facebook feed, because our friendship seemed outdated and lopsided, like I would always care more that he did -- I feel the loss tremendously. 

He was such an unbelievably self-possessed spirit. When I met him, along with a few other truly excellent individuals on the sidewalk outside of the Rubin Dormitory on 5th Ave & 10th Street, it felt like I found my people. He loved music, and we spent the year of 1999-2000 going to live shows in the city or blasting music in our dorm rooms. He went on to be a live music sound engineer, and he travelled the world in that capacity. I don't know what exactly took him from this Earth so soon, but I suspect it wasn't good. 

In trying to find some meaning in his death, I thought about my life when I knew him. I dove headlong into memories, and read almost every page of my old journals and poetry books. I found email exchanges with old friends, and was washed over with the person I was more than a decade ago. I was searching for something, or someone, who could go with me through this life, steadfastly. For one short period of time, my friend Adam was that person. 

The fierce openness with which I searched for something to fill me up scares me now. I would never want to go back to that, but I do miss that feeling of not knowing what will happen next, or who I might meet that would bend my life. When a piece of paper 7 inches wide and 1 inch tall fell out of my journal with a list of things 10 things I wanted to do, I saw a reflection of a girl that I forgot I was. 

I've had my head down, in a lot of ways, for a lot of years. I've been plugging away. At what? Inner peace, love, family, sophisticated ladydom, tax paying... Adam's death has me picking my head up and wondering, what do I really want? I used to feel like I had nothing to lose and a real sense of what I could be. Now that I have a lot of things that I want, it's hard to resist the temptation to hold on too tight. Can I throw my hat up in the air of adventure to see where it lands in 2013 like I did in 2003? It's started an interesting conversation.

10 things --
1. learn how to use quark
2. be a hard core babysitter of jamie carly alexandra
3. take really long bike rides
3. get freckly
4. find an excellent apartment
5. write for the new yorker vogue nyt magazine jane
6. find a nice guy
7. start a dance troop
8. drive through canada, mexico
9. go to cuba and speak lots of spanish
10. move to rome

If you'll notice, my list of ten actually consists of eleven, as I have two number 3s. I've never been as conscientious as I pretend to be.

I'll miss you Adam. You were a kindred spirit, a spitfire and a savior. I loved you, like so many others.